jinen kothari

so long after last blogs... forget to write blog so many happenings each day is new every day something new comes up and   some new experience people and love it this way. every morning wakes up from the bad....so many questions so many things!!! running in me.!! too many things inside me.!!fight from my own thoughts..! fall for those things are not going to happen have to trust in something or so many things inside or outside of me.!! m in love with lots of anger with me..m burned inside................burning inside me.!! m much talking to  computers now with so much to talk about but to whom.!! m holding on to many things don't know which will come out with me ... m walking on tight string that every side try to pull me down... and m keep moving.and talking about strings lot strings are just disappear lot are there and become more strong, some of them are more of feelings and love... some are that is hold on.... every thing is here...and i love to be here.......but days...

....strings ... lots of strings are there in life and with the past we all have  those ...in life that is quite good  but strings are always getting change with time.!! does they ...lots of  disappear and suddenly they come to you...we gives smile shakes, hugs ...but never feel like the same.!! always different ...closest thing ....is the far most ...it becomes real to social ...relations.!! formalities ...there is nothing more than that.!! strings are getting disappear.!! so slowly...every real core those are hidden behind fake comes to surface .!! there will be always strings ...but they are so thin!!.  best is memories ...of love...laughing ...fighting.!! i tried to stop  those ... i screamed.... cried ... but they are going ...even they don't look back ...walking away.!! far so far..............!!  i can just see them going ......................    all this things creates you makes ...you ...... Something New.... Mujh mein tu, tu hi ...

...here is something new streets, roads , whether!?? new is me.!! lots of thing that left behind ...some where.. in ma heart.!!! and so many things remain with us. they put impressions on our lives. not to one to each other that is mutual. or on the bases of time spent. time = waqt =samay ... is changingand sure is not mine ...have to keep passion on that.!! waqt.!! time file will change things!!! so many things happening around me  ... touching me....life is bitter faster or slower don't know.!! what i don't know is that m loosing or controlling...( m hos me aa raha hu ya hos kho raha hu ...) "i t is not impor ta nt how far is desti nation  im porta nt is you are in r i ght pa th ... " and m on the right path don't know how  long the path dark is ...soon it creak the dark and light will come. darkness returns of something to life ... nothing is same as it was and never will be same in future.  continue.... Mujhe Chhod Do Mere...

After long time, writing blog. New place new thoughts new test new so many things are new. M little bit of new. Pretty much comfortable. Quite exciting at first and still it is. Problem is never feeling like anything. m Walking in the dark road but sure lead to my destination. Have to walk on the road...don’t how long??. Life keep moves whatever it happens time file changes everything. Only thing you have to know you are moving forward and love the things. Time comes when nothing is in your control and you can’t hold on to anything but keep moving never give up. Best thing in the world for any one is to be loved. Nothing is more beautiful than that. Another thing to be loved by those who understand you not for sympathy. i am pretty much lucky in sympathy always gets from everyone. That hole is dig into me. “ yar...dil bahut kuch kehna chata sun na chata he......baate kar na chata he...problem he koi bula ta hi nahi is ko... This Something New feels awesome. On other t...

 “Waiting!!!”, biggest word of the life... we all have to keep passions at some point in life. We all have to wait for our actions result. Result is the state of mind.!! Everything has it’s time..! in life it is matter that what you do...more importantly what happens with you.....we all making actions and we have keep doing that...whatever it causes doesn’t matter.         What you do it is n ot important,       How y ou do it is important. Finally all the formalities and the written exams are over soon new era will begin. Just like this it all over. We all have to keep passions or to face results, whatever it is good or bad, your company is important they will never let you think of “wait... Wait or time or passions teaches you lot. Have faith in something ...your guts, god, time, love, destiny whatever it is you have to believe in something and keep faith in it. In the end or at result you don’t care about your win or l...

"May..." or may not..again history continues ...4 year back may 2009 lost month...now may 2013 lost.!! so it's  may not .!! if we think on this such positive word but month is not at least not for me.?? so far just turned 22, so happy ...week is just awesome until "maY not" started .!!   surprising happy fully loaded week.( even i can hear ma heart beat in each moment) but this is me happiness never stay long. survival is ma life. life cannot see me happy!! : (  it slaps me so hard that i forget every thing. was  m happy?!! nope coz already slapped me!!! m so use to this thing m bit scare when i happy, life will not take away from me.!! m not expecting happiness.!! moment i got happy, next moment life had taken it. question is why!!?, more importantly where to ask why?? my self!!! universe.!? god??? well no answer...n now i don't want  to be answered.!!! m to usual  with keeping my things to me.... song is better some time... Kaisi teri khudgarzi N...

another month feels like it all running so fast .!! without any breaks..!? so many things happening around me ...new, best, bad ,good ,.....worst .....m loving all this....more importantly it is more surprising, exciting, happy moments....best thing among all this is something is about to change!.! new things are about happen, on other hand something  to lose...n reality.!!! heart is beating in each moment .... when i look  for this 4 years...nothing to remember n still lot to.!! or may be i forget things easily .!! m never looking backwards in any thing...done is done it can't be undone!!! important is m changed....a lot change .!! 4 years passed, just like i flicked...for moment n 4 years.!! in one flick of eye i learn a lot.!! got something?!! lose something!?! love something!!? ... i know my belief when i got admission ...that we together for bringing new culture...n we all made new society!?? with all the old things love, fights, work, fun, happiness, sadness( exams,...

finally after two weeks laptop is back from service station ...so many things happen ...n lot to learn !!! stay away from technology ....that give me break from all the things. !? i think some time we find life in some thing or person or objects.!! this all are illusion, some where feels like reality. we all does this thing, we are getting crazy, made and loose of control on mind, passions, love,faith !?! some time mind temper such high, feels like it will blast on!!! and we are confused why so angry!!! what is the reason behind it....why this all why m so angry ...what we need!! why can't I leave  normal life.!? and mind blasting with so many questionsss!!! and that's the point we thought about that thing!!! this is all i have ...if i can do this i can do any thing!.! "jIT "  or win something that make you some thing better, what your looking for in life is that thing, some time it is just to make coffee and some time to win car race. all this task is are like clim...

1 moment ...take's me  to Vally of dreams. another to hell. fells like  how beautiful  world is!!!  has  lots of color. and life is co some of those color. color love, sadness, happiness, power, friendship, courage, fights n so more... we have life, if we live the moment, n nothing  in the moment.  last Sunday there was reunion party of school class mates. fells like this half decade changed. every thing person, relations, every thi n g only one thing is familiar. " faces!!! ". with all wonder  people are so different.how ever  only one thing connect us school, our childhood. and memories. what ever fells like heart skip one bit. after long time ma heart is melt with all feelings. this thing make me realize have feelings. yeah we have some thing. this kind of moment like never to go. someone stop the time. i want to live this moment. few more seconds... i feels like in this moments. m sear c h ing ma life. may be this moments give th...

  Shah Rukh Khan reality behind the successful is worst, we always show best part of it rather i must say successful person shows us!!! they wanna do it, they do it what ever the odds. we life is whore bitch n we have play most of it. no way no escape it. we all mean to leave on the earth. don't go for finding your way, design it. leave with hope and keep working. there is no better way to leave life more than that. i believe life is how soon u make harmony between reality and dream. if we want to do it, someday we sure we will find way how to do it. never blame things make harmony with it will painful but u have to make it.coz doesn't matter where u born matter is where you die. keep working. u have to walk alone on your path make it beautiful or worst. love it. love your work, " kyuki aap use ruth jaye ge to vo aap ko zarur mana lega ek din to...". one thing i ever notice behind every sense of humor there is naked truth.(" has...

huh.!! still nothing ...does m pursuing? or not?!! so many doubts & questions. and as time goes make me so uncomfortable.  more and more hole inside me. and nothing to fell for things and people are becoming more plastic as days passes and so does i. still negative.!! seeing only negativity around me. start hurting me. y to me. needed so much passions and calm. night thoughts are the worst they have negativity.but as get darken you have only thoughts nothing else, one to another to next to next.and going and going. but darken clouds are the face of life. you have to pass it go through it. DREAM fight HOPE love. this is what all u have. with all we have the worst est thing expect ion. yes we have all have it. and we didn't get it. dream is hurt we start fighting, hope broken. and love is what you all have.  if you love it you. start hoping and dreaming. and sure fight for it. i don't know why to stop. or the limit is this way to all give up. you know the pe...

2 months what can happen in it.?? a lot!!! but what happen when you found your self at same.!! nothing is changed, same things, same problem, same loss just like time is moving but your nothing in that your still all same. every thing is new escape you.!! don't know why..it all with me still no changes...need lots of changes ...it's true you loss you where alone and you win you are alone.!!and at the both time you need to  give lots of answers but why??? many times you don't know any thing or seriously you don't have any answers!!! and then people think you is the reason for why he is there!!! feel nothing kept ma self working and busy with something so no time to think over any thing happens...may be is this the reason why m expecting from work!!! or may be is this the reason m not won yet.!! keep passions ...but keeping of passions people do thing he is not trying or doing nothing!!! why do people expecting more from your best and worst time!! and questions answe...

finally viva is completed and ...long college hours are over ...don't know why but it all feels long days without any bit of work ...m gonna tired a lot seriously don't like to prepare for next day ...but what ever already crack it very successfully ...n reading time is begin ...may 24-25 days ...n after that finally concluding ma bachelors...or final semester ... reading time is just started ...as usually start reading n making schedules for the time n gonna strictly following those timings ...all priorities is for ma reading and subjects that are going to conclude ...by the day ...like all the reading from the beginning( may be from12th or 10th don't really remember seriously...) m making planes and follow them very hardly ...m used to with those things...working hard or not don't know but ....m trying ma best to crack every thing ...but the strange thing happens no results may be m expecting too much ...or may be m not working properly .!? what ever the reason ther...

Diwali ...  most colorful  festival than any other festivals ...happiness (plastics), what ever it gives reason to smile on each n every f ace...reason to be happy or come closer to every one ....special in family better to closer on es and get time to communicate...m lucky surrounded by lots of people (family members) and having wonderful ti me ...of the season ...( worst thing is after whole day passes such  deep dark in ma heart or felling nothing ...silence ...dark silence... ) And without any reason being so busy ...with ...social calls ...or the formalities...good thing is m become too comfortable with this formalities or bei ng plastic ...that makes people comfortable with  me ...    ti me passing too fast ...WAQt is not changing ...but moving fast ...hoping to change not for moving... this year or last year come up with lots of thing ...got few bad months in raw ....still struggling ...to out ...n next few months are busy...for ever...

so busy days and weeks .!! can't handle ma mind feels like time is running so fast ...seriously didn't able to remember when i got a deep sleep... something or so many things are running in ma mind ...i always feels like time is killing me .!! life is moving so fast nothing is changed just time is moving too fast ...how fast  i seriously don't remember any thing from the past hour ...needed to calm down or wanted to relaxation from the current situation... is the confusing can't judge any thing ...it some how feels nothing is favoring me...not a single bit ...it's all by just got a good news followed by worst .!! some times it feels like ...outer cyclone is too small or nothing compare to inner.!! m not fighting or running from any one...than ma self .!! seriously i want change and m trying to make those change ...but i loosed .!! ant how it feels like in-ways m wrong .?? or may be m not at all.!! but time says yes M..! people says changes are the beautiful...ser...

fri-Day  27th july, 2012  ...is for "hingodgadh"...place is awesome ...but  place doesn't make any difference matters is company.!! m with classmates ...doesn't know some how most of are friends  now ...ya it is great time ...n the memories for lifetime ...                       we never remembers days n hours or people, after time we will forget them that is for sure ...but some days n moments oR people are remarkable we can't forget them ...it always gives pleasure ...to live more... to win more .!! this is like festival... to forget every thing ...n to enjoy the moment ...   " .. .kON JaNE K OnsA pAl  Ap Ko  'KHUSI'  dE jAye. . . Or aAp u SE Z i n D a G i BHAr aApni aAk ho mE l kar ch Ale.!?".. .you never know which moMent ...will give u...reason to liVe moRe...to fly hiGh .?! ...        ...

I n   b e a u t i f u l view of sunset...i think red color is most beautiful in sunset only ...seriously it feels such good or comfortable in thins kind of beauty ...in ways i like  nature ...i like nature silence a lot they speaks nope actually the tech's a lot...about  lots of thing.!! in ma life having different colors ( people ) as we all have... colors effects T=your life a lot ...in any cases...in ma case dark colors ( situation of life ) effects me ... a lot ...in many ways !!! i don't why but it is... feels like ...in dark ...may be m not .!!  worst thing about dark is not able to understand ...we are in or not ...can not able to judge.!! dark colors of life .!! u can find some colors ( people ) can not match u.!!  better not mix those color in ur life .!! c o l l O r s o f   l i G h t . . . dark colors always mix all colors in them but that's not happen darken life ...in dark's ur truth ...is biggest lie.!!  even  ur mixing color...